It’s almost been three months since we welcomed Baby Bean now know as Zoey into the world. It’s been the most amazing, tiring and most challenging experience of my life thus far. Everyone always tells you how hard being a mother/parent is, but nothing really prepares you for what and how having a baby will make you feel.
The one thing that I have learnt and always keep in mind is that each baby is different and has their own personality. I’m now beginning to understand why many people refer to the first three months or so with baby as the “The first 100 days of darkness”.
I’m pretty good at dealing with small amounts of sleep. After going through uni and starting full time work over an hour away from where I live, you adjust and learn to function with little to no sleep so that you can still get out and live life and see friends. What I realised is that multiple nights of broken and little to no sleep will send even the most well adjusted human into insanity. For someone who is always on the go and is used to being busy, learning to sleep and rest during the baby’s down time was something that was important in those first few weeks.
You need to look after yourself, so you can look after your baby !
Now that Zoey is starting to learn more about life on the outside, she has started to occasionally sleep through the night, which has been awesome for my energy levels. You don’t realise how much you are impacted by lack of sleep until you start getting a few more hours again. I know this isn’t the case for everyone as some babies remain unsettled far beyond the three month mark, so I definitely consider myself lucky. However, as most parents will know, nothing is forever and it just takes one new development to throw all your perfectly planned routines into chaos again.
Here are some of the articles that I enjoyed reading in these first few months that gave me a bit more understanding about what my baby was going through and how I could best facilitate her growth and development;
The below link is to a blog post which really resonated with me. I think it’s important to really look after yourself. What I didn’t realise was going to happen to me was how much I wouldn’t feel like myself. I think as Zoey gets older, the more I’m feeling like myself again. Having a baby definitely changes you as a person, for the better, but sometimes it’s nice to feel like your old self again.
This website was recommended to me by the maternal child health nurse. It is great as it has information on raising children and has different categories for pregnancy, newborn infant and much more. You can click on the specific age group of your child and get information on development and how to help facilitate their learning.
The below website was also recommended to me by the maternal child health nurse. It talks about the period of purple crying which starts at two weeks and can last up until 3/4 months. There are resources for soothing and information on sleeping.
There are a tonne of resources online, and I always find myself googling things. Make sure if you are using “Dr. Google” that you look at a few different opinions and take everything with a grain of salt. At the end of the day, if you are really concerned about something, you should definitely go to the doctor or the ED.
What has helped me most;
- Friends and family
- They are always checking in and making sure that I am ok
- In the first few months, they were helping with cooking and chores
- Always there for an adult chat
- Getting out
- Mothers Group
- Catching up with family and friends and getting out of the house
- Getting in touch with work friends
- Buying a few new things helped me feel more like myself
- Even buying new things for the baby 🙂
- Exercise – when I can and when I feel like it
- Doing home work outs
- Going for walks with the pram or with friends
- Going to the gym with a friend and getting baby looked after
- Spending time with my husband
- Watching a show together
- Eating dinner together – which I have come to realise is a luxury with a newborns
Everyone’s experiences are different, but if I had to give only one piece of advice it would be;
It gets easier as the days go by, and no matter what advice people give you, your baby is unique and you should always do what makes you comfortable, and what works for you and your baby.